Let it go!

Well, I am home for Christmas and already I feel better. I feel less trapped and depressed, and I'm being fed again =P.

I am on top of most things, including essays which is a first. That feels good. It certainly feels like there is a lot less pressure on me over the holidays simply because I am doing it.

I met up with Mane Face yesterday and we had one of the best catch ups! It was so cute. We both talked about our guys and for once I was able to compare and swap stories and it felt so great. I love her so much, even though she annoys me sometimes with her shitty planning xD. It was nice to finally talk to a friend who I felt like they wanted to hear what I had to say and listened. And of course I made sure I did the same with her. Eee.

My fuzzy is back off tour now and it sounds like he had a really good time and I'm really pleased for him because it means his career might pick up and it will be so awesome! I really miss him though! I called him today and only got an hour of conversation and I'm letting it get to me =P. I realise I'm being super clingy right now so I'm trying to hide it and keep it down but god dammit I want to talk to him all the time at the moment, I just really miss him and I think I've let myself become more insecure lately because I've let myself keep having daydreams about him leaving me. Seriously I keep expecting him to turn around and be like, no way fuck that. It would break my heart if he did. I've let him in too much already for him to just leave now. The bastard =P. yes so anyway. I've only sent him one whatsapp and now I am not going to contact him until he contacts me just to make sure I am not being too clingy. Gah! I can't wait until we can hang out again in person.

I had a really good chat with my brother today, he's been having a lot of issues with a friend of his and I've been listening and giving him some advice and some of the topics we talked about really gave me some things to think about! Like, how I see myself as a person and the kind of decisions I make. For instance my brother said that he thinks of me and he can't see in my past that I've ever done anything wrong or made a bad choice. i think that is something really great to hear and it reminds me that I should be more sure of myself. I also want to start being more confident about myself, because I think that is something that Fuzzy may come to resent if I don't start doing something about it.

All in all. Fairly good ^_^

Rhubarb

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