Yo.... been a bit up and down today no? :3
I felt like coming back and talking in a rational way. Basically, I feel really stupid for allowing myself to form an attachment. Even though it was small. Mechanic Guy has never NOT told me what's been going on. He's always been straight from the start and I really appreciate that. It was my choice to talk to him despite the fact that he was going through relationship troubles. So I guess I feel like an idiot for thinking that maybe they would split up and then I'd be able to slowly move in, but that was *never* going to happen. Even in a universe where they did split up completely. Who the shit wants to take over the burden of an 8 year relationship? I don't! The pressure man! Plus it's long distance. It just would not be cool.
It's just, he's a really nice guy. And he seemed interested. He is. I think he is. But it's all about context.
Urgh. I just feel like a massive tit. My friends warned me not to get too involved. Why did I go round telling everyone? *sigh* Shouldn't have done that, because now I have to pull it back without hurting my pride.
Why can't I fall for a guy who I actually physically meet?! What if I start to become dependent on this kind of medium?
I just feel so stupid. I'm glad I didn't cry though! I refuse to let it upset me in a really crucial time. I'll just slowly ween myself off. I'm not gonna reply to anything tonight. Not matter what it is. They are probably having sex right now....
I am so lonely.
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