Something that has never happened before just happened.

Someone listened to me.

All my life, I always feel like I'm there for everyone. I've been there for Rowie and her shit fucking bastarding boyfriends and all her stupid confidence shit. I've been there for Maneface and her psychotic boyfriends and confidence BOLLOCKS. I was there for my brother during his rein of terror with the psycho bitch. I was there for Isosceles with her boy troubles and suicide mission. ALL THESE FUCKING PEOPLE. I supported and I never felt like I've EVER gotten anything back.

For once in my life I opened up truly to someone. Isosceles  We just had the most drunken, teary eyed, shouty, heart felt talk I've ever had. No one ever tries to know how I feel. Tonight I told Isosceles just how lonely I feel and she accepted me and talked to me and helped me. I've never felt so appreciated in my life. Yes we had an argument  but I actually said what's on my mind and for once she listened, and SHOCK FUCKING HORROR! She apologised. No one ever apologises to me. I'm just Rhubarb who everyone dumps their shit on. For once in my life, someone got a glimpse what is was like to be me. And I am so appreciative  of that. I've always felt like no one cared enough, but now I know it's not true. People view me as a rock, someone strong they can dump their problems on because it doesn't matter. But it does. It overwhelms me. And because my life feels so unsatisfactory. But not tonight. I hope I can retain what I've learnt tonight. I also made the biggest step in any friendship I've ever made. I was truthful to them and to myself.


It feels good.