I used to think that one of my biggest fears was dying and then I heard something comforting. I used to be afraid of the thought of non existence and how scary it would be to not exist. People would tell me "Yeah but you wouldn't know you didn't exist!" But if anything this scared me more. Until someone explained that I'd already experienced nonexistence. Did you think the world just appeared as soon as you did? No, you've been a nothing in the making already for a gazillion (technical term) years.This made me feel better.
Then my biggest fear was that I would die alone, without making a connection with anyone. I would look at older people who were alone and pity them. I would watch romantic movies and wish desperately that there was someone who would love me like that guy in The Notebook so I wouldn't have to fear being alone. But then I realised that whilst it would suck, being alone would be a bit of a blessing. I think it's about time I be selfish and get to actually like me and living as me instead of thinking about some other person who might not exist.
It's funny how your feelings change. I'm going to try to hold on to this one.
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