How many times will I start a post in horror at my past self? I mean... Jesus Fucking H Roosevelt Marion Christ. I was/am so full of shit, just sprouting off about boys and being fat. Is that all I have to say?
I have a number of diaries. I have a dream diary. I have this blog. I have a death diary (yeah that's right, it's hidden in my room and every time I find it I have to update myself on how I feel about the afterlife). I have my YouTube channel. I just like to talk about me a lot in different formats and themes. So this format appears to be my boys and weight loss agony aunt, fucking A.
It's such a shame as well because this blog is seven years old! In seven years was that really all I had to think about? My first post is talking about all the boys I fancied. I was fucking 17 acting like I was 7! Actually do you know what? I've just finished watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix and this really puts into perspective what it feels like to be 17. I can remember the injustices I felt about some of the tiniest things that happened to me and how much I cried about them. I guess it's called being a teenager. Ain't got that excuse any more!
OK so let's update! Me and Fuzz are still together! HA! Got you there didn't I? I bet after all the shit I was going on about in 2015 (shit has it been that long?) you'd think that we wouldn't last. Well you were wrong! We have. I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy. The last 6 months have been another test because I moved up North to live with him and we've had to work some shit out. But I'm feeling positive.
I quit my drone job down South and got a job in Waterstones up North which is like when people say "Don't meet your heroes because you will always be disappointed." Waterstones was my teenage dream job and guess what? I actually like it! It's not the most intellectually challenging but it's not like my last job was either. I like the people I work with and the bennies are sweet as fuck. 50% off bitches!
I really miss mane face and my family. Like so much it hurts my soul. Trying to see them is hard going, especially as I work part time and in retail so any hours I get are like gold dust but they come on weekends too and not in bulk.
Today I'm super pensive. I'm at a point in life where that goddamn question "what do you want to do with yourself?" is still going round and round my head and I don't have an answer. I'm trying to take a *zen* approach and just appreciate every little thing and go with the flow and all that hippie shit to make myself feel better, but on days like this where even the things I want to do aren't enriching is hard.
Bleh. Look at me. Moaning once again. Shit has not changed.
Hopefully I'll see you soon.
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