Nothing is special about today.

Hello,

It's been a while. Again.

I'm in such a weird mood this week and I'm chalking it down to my period because I'm so irrationally overly emotional it's stupid.

Me and Fuzzy... broke up a few months ago and it was horrible. Since then we have gotten back together and tried to start sorting our problems out and it's been going really well! I mean of course we have hit some bumps in the road but ultimately we have been doing really well. This week specifically it feels like I'm back to my old self where I was excited to talk to him every day, I've been missing him loads and I'm excited for the prospect of a future together.

At the same time it seems to be this week that he has been really busy and now that he is not busy any more he is not talking to me... I feel like I'm being forgotten about. He takes ages to respond to my messages. He did not tell me when he was home safely last night and today he has said he would talk to me and I haven't heard a peep. It's really upsetting me as I feel particularly close to him right now and he is not reciprocating that.

I was really hurt the other day when I explained how I've been feeling differently about him and how before I've been trying to look at things in the moment and no further than a few years and for the first time since I've been with him I've actually accepted the fact that I want to be with him for the rest of my life. Not just joking around about marriage, I'm actually serious about the fact that I want to be with him forever. His response to this was "that's nice" and then he got awkward and changed the topic.

Let me tell you something, that fucking hurts. That's a scary and exciting thing for me to admit and for him to barely acknowledge or reciprocate it hurts me. I bet he is thinking that he can't trust what I say because I change my mind so much and guess what? That fucking hurts too!

I've really wanted to talk to him this week and I have done all I can to be a supportive girlfriend and I'm not getting ANYTHING back.

He's just like mane face. If I'm all over either of them then they ignore me and make me feel like shit. As soon as I ignore them, they're all over me. Why can't it be even?

Let's try an experiment shall we? Let's try playing those fucking mind games you hate so much fuzz? If I give you barely any attention the next few days I wonder if you'll start being all over me again.

I'll report back soon.