This is gonna be a long one!

Hello again! It has been a long while, and I have a LOT of things to tell you.

The past two months I have spent with Fuzzy. Since April 14th to June 13 -almost exactly 2 months- and it has been incredible! We have done so much! I'll try to recount it all... so first he came down to mine in Uxbridge and stayed for a week. That was good, it was so great to see him again, we had sex... lots of sex and it was great. I missed him so much I was so glad to have him around again.

Then after that week we went down to my parents for a short spell, this was because I had promised to see Mane Face, so I brought Fuzzy down with me and we met up with her! Tat was nice because it was the first time him meeting any of my friends and I know Mane Face has wanted to meet him for a little while now. I went so well! We all chatted, got along well, it was a really nice evening and she said to me at the end of it that she really liked him! We ended up staying four days in total at my parents, this was the second time having Fuzzy meet them but that went amazingly as well! We all got a bit tipsy a few times, had a good few laughs... My brother's girlfriend was round as well and us four as two couples got along really well. We played card games and got drunk and laughed a lot! =D I was very happy at the end of it and Fuzzy said that he didn't want to leave which is saying something as I think he has an aversion to meeting parents because SWSNBN had shitty parents that he did not get along with at all.

Something pretty crazy happened in those four days as well. The one and only time we went out in his car to go to the shops quickly... guess who fucking spotted his car? That fucking bitch! She then sent him a series of texts asking if he was down south and if he was bringing her computer and then she got funny with him! And he got pissed, and I got pissed and we just decided to leave.

So we went back up to Uxbridge and things were weird. It had really stressed him out and me too because I was fed up of thinking about her! Also we still hadn't put our relationship on facebook and it was getting me down. He had no attachment to her any more!? Why was he so worried about pissing her off!? He basically said that he wasn't ready to do it until he had given her her PC back so she had no more excuses to get pissy with him any more. But this just upset me because he kept pushing back the deadline again and again and it was getting to the point that I though he would just never do it! So... I got annoyed and a bit upset and we had a few mini arguments where we both got stressy and he went for a walk at one point and came back with chocolate and a flower =P. And the day after we had another argument walking down the canal talking about it but I think we managed to smooth it out. I promised him that I wouldn't bring it up again and that was that. Forgotten about.

In the meantime he stayed in Uxbridge for another two weeks. By this point my degree was finished and I'd handed in my disso (more on that later) and we had a disso party at the house which he was apprehensive about but I made sure he knew he was under no obligation to stay it out, if he got bored or uncomfortable he could go back to our room and switch on xbox, but just know that I won't be baby sitting him! And he appreciated this and it was cool. The party was really awkward at first but as more people arrived it turned into a really good night! We actually spent hardly any time together, we were both chatting to other people and laughing and getting along which was great! I was so happy and so was he! There were photo's up, we looked social =P. It was very much a relief for both of us to know that we can get on well in that environment without being constantly on each other. There was also a house sunday roast at one point which one of my house mates cooked that I asked him to sit down for. He got SUPER pissy just beforehand. Basically had a little hissy fit but then he nutted up and sat down with us and once again we had a really good time. We even played a card game DUN DUN DUN!! Which is apparently Alan's weakness, and he enjoyed it and it was great! I was really happy that we were getting along together, but also with other people, my family, my friends, my house mates!

And THEN, because we were both all for dragging it out, we suggested that we both go camping in the Lakes again! Both said OK, fuck it! Let's do it! So we went up to Alan's parents, stayed there for a week or so, watched Euro vision, finished watching Battlestar (which was so good and such a sad ending btw) I got on with his parents a bit more, and his sister and her boyfriend who are the two people that I find most difficult to get along with. There was a bad patch though when SWSNBN turned up to japfest, a car festival that Fuzzy previously went to with her but decided to miss this year. He was so angry about this, because she brought her new boyfriend and tried to move in on his friends that he had made. Understandably he was upset about this, and I was too! AGAIN! Fucking thinking about her. Even though it stuck around for quite a bit he managed to let it go and forget about it for a while and then EVENTUALLY once we were packed and ready we left to go camping again!

NOW, this camping trip which lasted...6 days. Was amazing. We had chosen a campsite before hand to go and check out and once we had pulled up we realised it was super out of the way and really empty. We talked to the landowner and decided that we didn't want to stay here and that we'd try to find another. Fuzzy told me that he had stayed near there before in a campsite in Grizedale forest. So we tried to find it, we popped down one road that said Grizedale camping but it didn't look right so we turned back, but as we carried on going we saw another entrance which he recognised. Pulled in and found it was the campsite he had been to before and it was gorgeous! Big empty green field, with horses next to it and a river and a big hill behind it. Walking up to the farmhouse there were goats and their kids and cats and it was just so cute! We talked to the owner who very kindly offered to us because the field was a bit wet that we could stay in one of the wooden camping pods for a few nights for the same price as a tent! We were SO happy, we went up and choose one, set up our beds, started a fire and just relaxed and it was awesome! We had such a good week! We went to a couple of waterfalls and climbed up them. Found some really gorgeous rivers and walks. And when we eventually moved down to the field and pitched it was so lovely every night when we came back to the tent to talk and get all snug. One night during the week there was a rock band that came to the barn and played some good covers which was awesome to listen to. Over the weekend it did get pretty crowded, but it cleared up to just 2 tents as soon as everyone was gone. We had another campfire on the last day and left feeling really happy. I felt so good that week and I was so happy with my fuzzy that I really wanted to tell him that I loved him, but I just couldn't find the right time to say it and every time I tried it just got stuck in my throat, so I thought I'd leave it be so it could come out naturally.

When we got back to Alan's house we ended up staying for another week. He thought about the whole japfest thing for a bit because he found a picture of her and her bloke when they went for the day (luckily they didn't camp) but he did let it go again. Thankfully. He even put the photo's of us camping together on facebook which she saw! Haha! That probably pushed him to do that so maybe I should be thankful, but anyway. During that week I went to go see Godzilla with him and his friends and this was the first time I've ever met them and it went... pretty well! I got on quite well with two of them! (The nerdiest ones) and The other two I talked to a little bit, I think they liked me but I'm not sure :3. One of his friends is getting married soon and his fiancé (WHO THEY HAVE ALL NEVER MET BEFORE EITHER!!!) was there and I chatted to her and she was really nice and I think she liked me! They invited me to the wedding so! That should be fun. I was really glad to meet his mates and make a good impression because apparently girlfriends and the group don't translate well. happeeeee. There was however something that happened that week. I was just so happy that as we were in bed joking around after sex he said something like "is it because you love me?" (Where he would usually say "like") and I answered yes and he laughed because he thought he had caught me out but I turned to him and said "I do love you." And he smiled and me and I didn't really sya much more because I was embarrassed but we hugged etc and everything was good. (Nothing was said back btw :3)

THEN we went down to my parents AGAIN! Had a really good time once more! At the beginning it was tense because he met up with SWSNBN to chuck her computer at her and it was really funny at the time because all of my family were at Waitrose (where they met up) at the time and I got them to call me and spy for me!! Haha! he came back and he said that it was really tense and horrible and she was moody again and tried to start arguments. But he didn't rise to the bait. Anyway, that fucking done and over with and since then we have barely talked about her. The rest of the week was up and down. There were lots of drinks and chats and meals etc etc. We met up with Mane Face again and went for a nice walk! It was really fun and they got along! I think they like each other. =D And had a good time with my family. We did however get quite tense during the week. I was on my period and Fuzz was just generally in a bad mood and we did clash a number of times, mainly at night and ended up going to sleep mad at each other. One day it completely fucking blew up and we just had a full on row in my house while everyone was out. He shouted at me and I found it kind of scary to be honest. It wasn't a matter worth shout over. I did raise my voice but when he told me to stop shouting I calmed my voice and tried to talk normally. It was just a big fucking mess really. WE put it behind us though. It was mainly down to bad moods and both of us being super sensitive. And in a really weird way in was nice to have our first proper argument. I wanted to know what we would both be like in that situation and now... well now I've found out xD There was one good thing that happened that week though. I gave him a blow job and he came. Now... if this doesn't seem like a big deal to you then you're wrong, it is. Fuzzy has never... EVER cum from a blowjob. Not by his ex (hahaha) and not by me... until now =P. I made him cum! And we were so happy! I also did it once more to prove it wasn't a fluke! It was great! I was so pleased and so was he! I will be doing that more in the future!

After that we came back up to Uxbridge and had the house to ourselves which was really nice. It felt like we were living together and we really got a sense for would that would be like. It just felt cute you know? We slept together, got up, had tea, pottered around for a bit, went out, came back, had dinner, watched TV, had sex and went to bed. It was so lovely and I wish we could've had more time. Even after 2 months of being around him I still didn't want him to leave. We had such good sex that week, there was this one time that we put a bit of porn on and started fucking, we used baby oil and it was good. Then we brought butt plugs into the mix and it got really good. He made me orgasm with a butt plug in and oh my god... it felt so good... like seriously. I want to do it again! It was great sex, both of us said so! Afterwards as we were lying down I just felt such a rush of affection that I said it again, this time while looking at him properly I said "I love you" and he smiled again and then said..... "Me too." .... Kekekeke. He then said that that was a bit of a cop out and do I want him to say it properly but I told him that I didn't want him to say it in response I wanted him to say it when he was ready and when he felt it. it did bug me though and it kept bugging me until the day he left. I was really upset. Constant tear leakage. I didn't want him to go. After two months of this much time around each other I felt like I'd forgotten what it was like to be by myself. We hugged a lot and were sad, but eventually he left. As we were in the car that day getting food, we were both crying a bit and he said "I do love you you know." And my heart skipped a beat, and I looked at him and he had tears in hi eyes and we just held hands. It was great. And sad.

He left and I just wailed to myself in my bedroom for the longest time. It's the day after today and I'm crying right now. I feel like I could burst into tears any moment. I miss him so goddamn much. I love him so much. I'm scared about what happens now... when we try to go and get jobs, when we do, how do we see each other?! Will it work out? Or will one of us find it too much?

All I know right now is that I want him here.