Queen of Calradia

So I've been reading through my old blog posts again and wow.... just wow.

I knew my ex was an arse but... looking back at my old posts it just seems so fucking obvious!! Not ONCE do I talk about him without mentioning an argument in which he is being a moody little bitch and I'm being pathetic and rolling over for him. I don't regret it like, because it was obviously a lesson I needed to learn and it's better to do it at 21 than 26. But still.

He's been on my mind a lot lately because I'm on a cold turkey no stalking run. I have not stalked him or my other ex (the korean guy) for a month. Congrats. I know that doesn't sound long but for me... fuck well. It's taken a lot of strength. The problem is that now all of my headspace is taken up with thinking about not stalking him haha. God I really just need to let it go. I think most of it is curiosity. I've changed so much this year, I really want to know how I would feel around him now, would I feel disdain? Fondness? Anger? I saw him once, a few months ago. I was looking boss, really pretty, lip pierced. He was sat having a drink and I went over and gave him a hug, had a quick chat and then told him I was glad he was happy and left. I literally could not have been more perfect.

I didn't mention before but a point that bothers me is the fact that he has a new girlfriend. HAD the new girlfriend within the same month that we broke up! Honestly, this guy does not know how to be single. I think he pulled the same routine on me as he did with his ex before, where he was flirting and getting to know her as we were breaking up. Lucky for me I have my dignity so I went cold turkey and acted as if I didn't know or give a shit. And I don't, she's welcome to him, but I do want to know if he cheated on me...

Anyway. I'm genuinely quite happy being single these days. I have the option of tinder but apart from casual sex I'm not really interested in starting a relationship with someone seeing as I'm going to be moving country soon y'know?

I hope he sees my instagram and is upset at how fucking GREAT I look xD