Mustard.

Hey ya'll.

So. Here's the low down =D

Uni is finished. Exams are over and I'm just enjoying having nothing to do. However I haven't been doing *nothing* with my time.

For 6 weeks now. That's right, count 'em, 6. I have been on a diet and exercise routine. That's right ladies and gentlemen she has gone over the hump! Not only that I have visibly lost weight. I fit into jeans that I didn't fit into at easter. People have commented on my weight and the scales tell me I have lost nearly a stone. That's right! That's right! I've actually made progress this time and it feels great! I've been much healthy with what I eat. I'm counting my calories and I am exercising almost every day. I actually feel like I've done it this time. like it's going to work and that I am on my way to being the best I can be.

And I have to be completely honest most of the motivation for doing this is Mechanic Guy :3. We're still talking, almost every day. Still really good friends. And we did have a really interesting conversation the other day where he essentially asked "where is this going?". I'll copy and paste it.

Mechanic Guy

What you see this as and where you see it leading to. It's always an unknown I know that. Just curious as to how you view our chats together. Rhubarb Oh MG. =P Such a difficult question Mechanic Guy I knowwwww  Especially for you eh? :P Rhubarb OK. I'm gonna roll out the brutal honesty train and hopefully it won't do much damage. Mechanic Guy hit me with it! Rhubarb Basically. I like you a lot. We're on a very similar wavelength and I really like the idea of talking to online, it's Romantic (with a capital R) in a modern sort of sense, equivalent to writing letters back in the day. Like where you can share your life with someone who doesn't know you at all. But then, it's difficult. Because I can definitely see myself becoming attached to you romantically (lower case r) but there are massive issues there. Issue number one, you and (His girlfriend). I never, never, never, never, EVER want to be someone that comes between, affects, whatever, an 8 year relationship, although I suspect I kind of have even if it's just in the sense of being a bit of an opposite to (His girlfriend) in some respects. That kind of eats away at me a bit. Makes me feel incredibly guilty. Issue number two, we've never met, and who knows whether the same compatibility translates as well in real life. So at the moment, I'm holding myself in a kind of limbo. I like talking to you, on this level for now. But I would be more than happy to meet up and to get to know you as more than just text in the future.  3:01 PM Oh god. I hope I don't come to regret nay of that.  And I really hope that is what you were asking for Mechanic Guy That's exactly what I wanted you to say.. And I appreciate the honesty. You're a good person and I'm sorry if I'm putting you in any awkward position. If anything, this has scared the shit out of me... I went online looking to chat with people. Male, female (whatever) because my social life was becoming shit as a direct result of my relationship... And I just felt like a bit of online socialising. When I stumbled upon you I enjoyed talking to you (hence carrying on) but I never expected to enjoy it quite so much. On top of that, I have similarities with you that I've never had with (His girlfriend). And I hate to say that but it's true. I in no way intend to "lead you on"... please know that. I've been trying to take this at face value as much as I can. And with me being in limbo myself with my decisions about being with (girlfriend) or not I feel extremely guilty too. She knows I talk to you btw.. I'm an honest man. Anything you're dishonest about may stay away for a short amount of time but it's guaranteed to bite you on the ass at some point if you're don't stay honest. I expected what you said... but I don't want to say anything more. For obvious reasons.. Thank you for being honest though. It's a breath of fresh air it really is.  Don't think this changes how I see you. And you're right... we could be shit together in person ha  I hope you don't see me as some "player". I've had one relationship in my life. I've been faithful 100% for 8 years. Long distance included, through uni, everything. I'm not that sort of bloke. Rhubarb I don't see you that way at all Mechanic Guy. You've always been completely honest about everything which I appreciate ^_^ Mechanic Guy Well...  Good that's out in the open anyway.  :P So yes. That's where we stand you see. I think the poor guy is having some issues because he still doesn't know if he wants to get back with his gf or not. Not gonna lie, I'll be kinda of upset if he does. But it's his life and they have been together so long I wouldn't dream of coming between them. On the other hand I really do like him and we're strangely compatible in a lot of ways. But yeah. I'd love to meet up and see how we get on in person, that would be very interesting. Also because I'm so majorly horny right now I'd have to try really hard not to throw myself at him. But yes. I am liking where we are right now. Just chatting. A little bit flirty. Am starting to worry that we are getting to a point where I feel like our conversation is just circulating. Although saying that. We did manage to talk for over 3 hours (total) on the phone yesterday which was fun ^_^. It's just good. I'm enjoying it. We'll see what happens. In the mean time it is providing me with some serious motivation to lose weight so that is good =D That's all the major points really =P Later tater xxx