Like, you know!

I'm back at Uni again! Moved into my new house, with my new room and my new housemates. All is lovely. The girls, the room, the catchphrase. Brilliant. I have managed to make my room a little bit more homey this year! Which is very good because I will probably be spending a lot of time in it! I also have a double bed! For the first time in my life! And it couldn't be better timing because I finally have a need for one :3. Mechanic Guy will need the room when he comes to stay next which will be soooooon.

It's been... odd with him again. Not because anything has gone wrong. It's just trying to get used to the LD contact again. When your not face to face with someone, everything they say seems less warm and consequently if they don't say anything at all it just seems stone cold! So if we have even a little break from contact it feels like we've had an argument or that I've done something wrong! Which I know is completely not true and irrational, but I can't help it. So he has been having a mysteriously bad week which he doesn't want to talk about which is fine but I just suspect that it has something to do with his ex. I called him once and he cancelled my call and then rang back a few minutes later saying he was skyping someone. I suspected it was her because that was the night he said was so shit. I don't want to pry though because basically I don't really want to know! But it's still frustrating.

One thing I have been thinking a lot about lately is that he should begin telling her that we are meeting up. He has the perfect oppurtunity coming up because she is going to see him the weekend before he sees me and he has an excuse to go to London (Big Gig) so he's not going out just to see me, but he is seeing me while he is there. So he should tell her that he is going to visit me then. Right? I think so. But I can't tell him that. He has to work that out himself.

But yeah! Anyway so the distance thing is also made worse by the fact that he sent me this message the other day:

"I'm going to be honest again (god help me)
I got the sudden realisation yesterday that I was getting attached to you too much. To the point I was almost needing attention from you. Think I may need to back off a bit, kiddo. For your sake. Don't wish to be a hindrance and move too fast. And me too... got to be careful, you know. Don't want to latch on. So I may back off a little. Just so you know. Not fucking off.. no way just turning the sensible knob up."

Which suuuucks! I don't want him to back off! Especially when it is feeling so rocky! I am really beginning to understand just how hard a LDR could be... I wonder if I am cut out for it. I hope I am. I know I am. If I want something enough then I make sure I get it. Plus if I can go 20 years without a guy then I can stand having one as text some of the time and face to face the other ^_^

Just got off the phone with him now. It feels better today. Maybe that is the way to do it. Shit done during the day and talk during the eve.


xxxx